Improve Team Performance – Part 3 Dealing with unwanted behaviour
Acting like an "adult" in a salon or spa means approaching work responsibilities seriously. But not all adults have patterns of behavior that are positive, team focused and beneficial to the business.
That's were business owners, team leaders need to take responsibility for redirecting any unwanted behavior and developing new habits.
In this series of articles and LIVE VIDEO's on Improve Team Performance, we're covering simple, easy to use techniques to develop teams. In this article, its how to deal with unwanted behavior.
If unwanted behavior is not dealt with it will impact customer experience, team moral and respect for those leading a team, respect will be lost.
Before we get into the 5 steps of how to redirect team members I'd like to cover a few key very important points;
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Habits
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Gunny sacking
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Time
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It must be from me
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The difference between new, learning team members and those that know better and serious behavioral issues
Habits
A habit is anything we've learnt, repeated and mastered, they're automatic habits. We can perform habits with little effort or none at all, from brushing our teeth, driving a car, cutting hair or waxing eye brows. ANYTHING we can do that requires little or no effort is a habit, we have mastered a skill. That also includes habits of behavior. Good or bad.
We need teams to have certain habits with how they work;
Client Habits
Team Habits
Business Habits
In the online course Salon Team Training we cover;
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How habits work
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How to build habits, fast!
Why? Because that's what training is all about, building automatic behaviors, how we work to succeed, so understanding habits in my opinion, is the key to success.
We need team members to have the right habits to succeed.
The key difference between young, new and developing team members V's Established successful people in our industry?
Habits!
We either learn with training and mentors quickly or though years of experience, which can be very costly. Once we MASTERED a technique, skill or behavior we can do it without thinking.
It's just what we do!
Building client, team and business habits is the key.
The average person according to research by Phillipa Lally a health psychology researcher at University College London found habits can take between 19 to 254 days to build. With the average person taking 66 days to form an automatic behavior, much longer than the previous 21 days banded around in the past.
So why is this important in dealing with unwanted behavior?
If someone is new to the industry they will have little or no professional habits built yet!
But they will arrive with a set of behaviors learnt, either from home as a teenager, school or collage, and those habits may not be what is needed in the big wide world of employment.
That's when people like I, as a trainer step in and salon or spa owner or team leaders have to take the responsibility to organize training and mentor to build the habits that are wanted.
If we see "unwanted behavior" it may not be because the person is doing something intentionally wrong, they just haven't been taught or built the habits of what we do want or need.
If we employ someone with experience they will come with established professional habits, which may be perfect for the business or they too will need training and mentors to build any NEW habits or replace unwanted habits.
It will take time to develop the skills wanted in the business.
We will need to repeat training, communicate regularly, recognize progress even when something isn't perfect or feels slow and redirect team members for up to a year, unless we know how to build habits fast.
Train the skills / techniques / behaviors wanted (habits) - Monitor - Mentor - Review - Reward ANY improvements - Redirect if needed - Repeat
I never reprimand someone learning a new habit, only those that know better. And I try and remember with patience, new habits take time to build, 19 to 254 days!
Gunny Sacking
Gunny sacking is a metaphor used in conflict resolution, when a person doesn't deal with issues such as behavior at work and they store up all the issues until they burst, then unloading all their grievances at once!
If unwanted behavior is seen it needs to be redirected quickly. If we met with a team member we discuss the moment, what we've just seen not what has happened in the past, that's gunny sacking and its not effective.
So no, "and another thing..." "whilst you're hear..." moments.
Time
It only takes a minute to redirect a team member, 2 or 3 minutes maximum.
If we go on and on there's a risk that the person will not just lose focus, but, will be take less responsibility for their action, and for change we need the person to be focused on their behavior.
People find it hard to listen for long periods of time, the mind wonders, people lose focus unless they're trained to listen carefully.
No one likes to be lectured, keep any redirection of behavior short and specific.
It has to come from ME!
THIS IS ESSENTIAL, PLEASE READ. If we have built trust in the team then people will tell us what's going on, something that I may not know. Until we develop commitment and trust we're often the last one to know!
The person leaves or is fired and suddenly everyone tells us what's been going on!
A phase that comes to mind, from experience;
"why didn't you tell me?"
Without commitment teams lack trust and without trust, we're the last to know!
More on team commitment in the next Newsletter, so sign up so you don't miss out.
If someone does speak to us privately what we do next is critical to the team.
If I bring the team member in to discuss the issue and use a phase like
"It has come to my attention..." I'm in real danger of damaging the team dynamics, and that could be very costly.
Many people are told as kids, I've even said it myself to my own children.
"Don't tell tales on your brother" "Stop grassing your brother up"
In the dynamics of teams, groups of people at school, home or at work, many people see speaking out against someone else as not the done thing AND potentially a big risk!
One of the reasons we can often be the last to know, so if someone does speak with me I need to handle the situation carefully. So if I start speaking with that phase (or similar)
"It has come to my attention..." Something will happen with the person I'm speaking to, they will be LESS liking to focus on their ACTION, what they have done and in their heads the conversation will start
"Who the hell's be talking about me, which one of those bitches has grassed me up, you wait till I get out of here!"
The fact that they've done something wrong is lost and they will take LESS RESPONSIBILITY for their action.
Once they leave the meeting the hunts on, who's been speaking about me! And that can cause major issues in a team, with arguments, gossiping, isolating people, trust damaged all from using a phase like;
"It has come to my attention..."
When dealing with an issue a team member has told me, I must protect the person or they could be vulnerable to verbal abuse, will never tell me anything again, loss respect and not trust me.
It must come from me;
"I have noticed..." I witnessed..." I saw..."
When "I" is used the person has nothing else to focus on other then what they have done, they're behavior.
It can be tricky to find a way to deal with the information that has been shared by a team member, in the video I share a story from my days working on cruise ships.
A team member spoke to me wanting me to deal with a situation that they didn't feel confident or comfortable with confronting. They had strong suspicions (but no evidence) that their cabin mate was using their personal items such as their toothpaste, shower gel, moisturizers etc.
I had to deal with the situation or the team member telling me would lose respect and trust, but I couldn't say "I have noticed..." (unless I hide in the bathroom to catch them). I ended up creating a story of how someone had been stealing from a cabin mate on another ship and had been fired and how disgusting it was, packed it with loads of emotions and as I finished telling the story to the whole team I ended holding the eye contact of the person in question, oddly they brought a moisturizer the next day.
The point and a very serious one, when something is shared with me that I need to deal with, I never race in and I consider how I can deal with the issue without damaging the team or individual relationships.
The difference between new, learning team members and those that know better and serious behavioral issues
I don't reprimand new and those learning in the team, I look for anything I can to praise and encourage. I'll be covering more on this after the next article and video on commitment. Its a powerful tool leaders can use to increase the speed of development, the power of praise.
Just like a parent with a young child I focus on praise to get new and those learning to keep going, I build will power.
If I put the person down, focus on what went wrong there's a risk that they'll give up, after all, if every time they try they get reprimanded or put down, why bother trying?
Redirecting is for those who know better, who have been working in the business long enough to have built the right habits.
With serious behavior such as abusive, not turning up to work or stealing for example, that's different and action must be taken according to employment law, whether its a written formal warning or instant dismissal, regardless of how long a person has been employed.
5 Simple Steps to Redirect unwanted behavior
*I'm going to use tardiness, being late as an example. Lets assume that the person has no reason for being late, there wasn't an accident, something beyond their control. They have said "sorry I'm late" but no reason.
Step 1 Clarify and Agree
Simple, make sure they know the rule or policy. and get their agreement that they know the rule or policy. Which as I only reprimand people who know better, they should. I want their agreement.
"I just want to clarify, start times are always 15 minutes before the first client. So, 9am clients means an 8.45 start time, right?"
Clarify and Agree
Step 2 Confirm what happened, describe the mistake, be specific.
If you haven't read or watched the previous article its important to be specific, please take a look Why don't they do what we ask?
Short and to the point using specific communication.
"I NOTICED this morning you arrived at 8.55"
Short, to the point and specific.
Confirm what happened, describe the mistake, be specific.
Step 3 Say how it makes you feel
THE most important step, every humans response system is governed by emotions. The brain creates emotions, which leads to feelings in our body AND only if we get enough feelings do we take action.
I want the person to have an emotional response to THEIR behavior or mistake, so they take action. And the action I want "it won't happen again". But for they to happen I need them to FEEL emotions.
So, I tell the person how I feel, if I feel disappointed (sad), angry, or disgusted I need them to see in my body language and the tone of my voice how I feel.
"I feel disappointed Julie, I mean I REALLY do feel disappointed. We work as a team to be ready. Being late is really disrespectfully to everyone, I find it frankly disgusting, its very rude. I feel really disappointed"
"
Still short and to the point, my non verbal communication (facial expression, body language, tone of voice) must express what I'm feeling. If I FEEL angry or disgusted I must show that emotion.
Say how it makes you feel
Step 4 Pause, let there be silence
A powerful moment in the redirect, silence can be very painful and I want them to now feel the moment.
When our brain response with emotions it can take around 6 seconds, so I need the pause to allow the brain to respond and the person to start to have feelings.
I want them to feel disappointed in what they did, I need them to feel it to stop it happening again.
In the pause I will use my body language, I may shake my head, cover my mouth with my hand, let out a big sigh.
If the person tries to speak, I will raise my hand to ask them to stop and if needed say "I am speaking and this isn't a 2 way conversation at this time, let me finish please". I may go back into the silence if I feel they need more time to feel! This is only 10 - 15 seconds, but it can feel like a life time if you're the one being redirected.
You may need a box of tissues, and if your watching them starting to "feel" its not uncommon to feel the sudden urge to smirk or want to laugh.
I've taught this for years and feedback has taught me this does happen. So, it in that moment IF you get the urge look away or cover your mouth, take a deep breath to keep control.
Pause, let there be silence
Step 5 Tell them they're better then the mistake, valued and or respected by you and the team
I finish on positives about the person, I don't like the behavior or mistake but that's different to the person. I point out how they're better then the behavior or mistake.
"You know I love working with you, the energy you bring to the team, the clients rave about you. If other team members need help it's often you they turn too, you're such an incredible part of the team. You're better then this"
Now, those of you who have covered specific's will notice, the above is very non-specific, what is incredible? But it's OK at this point, I must be truthful but I can be either or both specific or non.
My body language, facial expression and tone of voice must communicate what I'm saying, I sound excited, happy, I smile or laugh (which is helpful if you get the urge in the pause).
When its over its over
This next little phase is very powerful, we can use it with clients to get more referrals but more on that soon, once I've finished step 5 I want them to leave, its over.
"Can you do me a favor and leave me now, I need to make a call because if I don't do it know I'll forget and its very important, is that OK? (nod head for yes), thank you"
The important words in this statement are favor and because, my 2 favorite words! More on that soon.
In my experience of using this method, its very powerful, and every time I used it 5 to 10 minutes later there would be knock on the door and the person would pop in and say "I'm sorry, it won't happen again".
I first learnt these steps back in the early 90's from the 1 minute manager by Kenneth H. Blanchard, and Spencer Johnson. I can't take credit for the steps, but I can tell you they work.
One final point, always check their client schedule, I need a gap so they can "recover", I want them to feel bad for the mistake but I don't want them feeling bad as a client walks though the door.
In my training we have rehearsals, so practice on someone first, have kids or teenagers try it on them, works a treat!
In the next article and video will be commitment, how to get more commitment from a team. Following that will be the Power of Praise and then How 2 little words get jobs done and more clients!
Till then have a fabulous day
"I just want to clarify, start times are always 15 minutes before the first client. So, 9am clients means an 8.45 start time, right?"
"Yes"
"I NOTICED this morning you arrived at 8.55"
"I feel disappointed Julie, I mean I REALLY do feel disappointed, we work as a team to be ready. Being late is really disrespectfully to everyone, I find it frankly disgusting, its very rude. I feel really disappointed"
"well, you see..."
"I am speaking and this isn't a 2 way conversation at this time, let me finish please".
Pause 10 - 20 seconds
"You know, I love working with you, the energy you bring to the team, the clients rave about you. If other team members need help it's often you they turn too, you're such an incredible part of the team. That's why I'm disappointed. You're better then this"
"Can you do me a favor and leave me now, I need to make a call because if I don't do it now I'll forget and its very important, is that OK? (nod head for yes), thank you"
