Caroline Turner
SEND Parent. I Couldn’t Walk Away.
Sharing what I’ve lived and learned to make the journey easier for others
I’ve seen other parents reach the end of the school years, thank those who helped, and finally close that chapter.
And I completely understand why. After everything — the meetings, the battles, the exhaustion — it’s a relief to move on into adulthood and leave the school chaos behind.
But I can’t do it.
When it all began, all those years ago, I had no idea.
When it all began, all those years ago, I had no idea.
The A-word wasn’t on my radar back in 2004 — everything seemed perfect. Looking back, there were signs, but they were subtle to start:
REALLY hating haircuts, uncomfortable clothes, little things that didn’t seem to mean much at the time.
Then things started to change. One week, I was juggling Paediatrics in the morning and CAMHS in the afternoon, and somewhere in between came the word
“Autism Spectrum....”
I was gobsmacked.
I left their office with a handful of leaflets and instructions to contact a local charity.
That was it!
No roadmap
No real guidance
Just a waiting list for a parenting course that wouldn’t have space for a year.
Second Time Around...
It wasn’t a shock.
I already knew—many parents do.
You see the signs, you know your child — you just need someone to listen and put it on paper.
But getting that confirmation? That’s another waiting list...
What I’ve Lived and Learned
Every bullet point here has a story behind it — things I learned, sometimes the hard way. What I plan to share comes from those experiences, in the hope that it helps another parent feel less alone — and maybe avoid a few “I should have…” moments.
School & Education
- 5 mainstream schools and 3 specialist settings
- Illegal and legal exclusions along the way
- Physical restraint in school
- Meltdowns at home linked to school stress
- Periods of no education and Section 19 requests
- Professional tutoring at home (primary and secondary)
- Home education while challenging the system
- Online schools and phased reintegration after absence (two weeks to two years)
- Supporting dysregulation at school and at home
- Navigating university support, post-EHCP
- Countless requests for meetings — often gaslighted or ignored
- Trying to get action on bullying by peers and staff
- Keeping a strong paper trail — but sometimes missing the mark; countless “I should have…” moments
Health & Support
- Countless appointments with Paediatrics
- Fighting to access amazing support from the local hospital school
- Working with multiple Early Support and Adolescent Early Support staff — some outstanding, some not so
- Building a strong working relationship with CAMHS after early frustrations and closed cases
- Completing two CAMHS-led training courses on anxiety and behavioural support
- Accessing personal therapy and medication to cope with the constant strain
- Receiving support for Complex PTSD — how does sending your child to school and dealing with the LA lead to this?! That blows my mind!
- Supporting my children through sensory needs, years of serious sleep issues, food struggles, and self-harm
- Learning how to support burnout — finding ways to recover, rebuild, and keep going.
Legal & Admin
- 2 EHCP applications — and all the waiting in between
- Naming and securing an independent non–section 41 school
- Formal complaints to stage 5 (schools)
- Formal complaints to the LA (stages 1 & 2) and escalated to the LGO
- SARs across six different points (schools and LA)
- Follow-ups with the ICO, Department for Education, and Ofsted
- 2 Tribunal applications — both conceded by the LA
- Personally preparing all legal documents and bundles (using AI for research, drafting, and organisation)
- Appealing DLA and presenting to the panel
- Giving evidence to the LA scrutiny committee and volunteering to improve local SEND systems
And Then There’s Everything Else
Beyond what the professionals see or the words on paperwork, there’s the life that happens behind closed doors
The part no one sees or understands, unless they've lived it
Having to stop work. Financial hardship.
Isolation. Judgement.
People who think they know better because they read something online.
The public meltdowns — the stares.
The endless waiting — for assessments, emails, meetings, phone calls, appointments.
The exhaustion that seeps into your bones.
The sensory struggles — socks, toothbrushes, toothpaste.
The endless replacements — hoovers, TVs, phones, screens (so many screens).
Holes in walls. Smashed doors.
Preparing every outing like a military operation, constantly on guard or walking on eggshells.
The Reality of "our" daily life
From Gobsmacked to Planning
Looking back now, I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude.
Not for what we went through — I wouldn’t wish that on anyone — but for the experiences that came before it all.
The truth is, years spent helping people grow and thrive gave me the insight I never imagined I’d one day rely on as a mum.
I started out working on cruise ships in '93, leading international teams before being promoted to train all new staff from across the globe. I didn't know it at the time, but that role changed everything!
From Ships and Boardrooms to SEND
That first training role gave me a glimpse into how people learn, what motivates them, and how to help them reach their potential.
It led to a 25+ year career in people development — designing and delivering training for teams, managers, and business owners from across the world.
I love what I do—sharing knowledge —it feeds my soul.
I share skills and frameworks for effective communication, mindset, coaching and leadership, managing difficult people and complaints, teamwork, and creating organised, achievable plans.
And then, one day, I found myself using every bit of that knowledge at home.
What Comes Next
With all this lived experience — and years navigating the system — behind me,
I want to do something with all of this knowledge —
and with my professional experience helping others grow —
to make the path clearer for the families coming behind me.
To turn my experience into something good.
I can’t stop other parents from facing their own battles —
I wish I could — so if sharing what I’ve learned — along with the tools and systems that helped me —
helps someone feel more prepared, more informed, and a little less alone
Then that’s exactly what I’m here to do — and keep doing, for as long as parents need it.
The Plan
I’m still rebuilding — the experience has taken its toll, physically, emotionally, and financially. So I’m careful about how much I take on, especially with ongoing caring commitments.
But I also know that what I’ve learned, built, and lived through can genuinely help others.
So I’m sharing it.
The business and development skills I’ve been training for over 25 years — leadership, coaching, and management — I switched to parenting skills with my kids, and I will share them with you.
The plan is simple — create practical tools, training, and guidance parents can use straight away.
Over the years, I’ve been on many “parent” training courses, and I know how frustrating that can be — especially when the struggle isn’t at home, but you still have to tick the box of going. Always.
I took the approach that if I could take away just one useful tip, system, or technique, it was worth it.
However, as someone who designs training, I often found them condescending, frustrating, and not always practical and after waiting 12 to 18 months, it was often disappointing.
But I ticked the box!
I can’t promise you’ll find all the answers — every child and situation is unique — but I can promise genuine intent to make a difference, practical support, and helpful tools to guide you through the system and support your child and family.
Because no parent should have to start from scratch like I did.
I’ve shared who I am, my experience, and my plan — now it’s up to you.
Whether you join the list out of curiosity or sheer desperation for something that helps, I promise to do my best to support you.
No spam. Just real updates, guidance, and access to sessions designed to make things a little easier.
You can unsubscribe anytime — every family’s journey is different, and that’s okay.
Thank you for giving me a few minutes of your time today — it really means a lot.